The Last Something That Meant Anything
by imafreakingsuperhero
Summary: As Degrassi says goodbye to its seniors with the commemoration of graduation, Eli returns to his alma mater for the ceremony. Attending to watch his former peers cross the finish line, he takes up the added task of seeking out his ex. It's been some time since the two have last spoken but one conversation between the former lovers may lead to hope for their future. [One shot]


A/N: So this is just a one shot I've wanted to write for some time. For argument's sake, let's just say if Clare doesn't get in touch with Eli during this upcoming block, this is something I wish would happen. It's written from that perspective, just to put it further into context for you. Enjoy!

* * *

As far as summer days went, the temperature outside was surprisingly comfortable. It seemed that the weather was forgiving to the graduating class of 2014. The recent string of sweltering heat came to a stop, allowing for easier conditions. Taking advantage of it all, the ceremony was to be held outside.

As Eli parked the borrowed Corvette he drove, he felt a strange sense of déjà vu. It'd been some time since he last been in the Degrassi parking lot, behind the wheel no less. He hadn't driven on school property since the days of his beloved hearse Morty. Reflecting back on that year in particular was bittersweet—especially when settling on how it came to an end.

Ridding the thought from mind, Eli grabbed the three bouquets of flowers that sat in the passenger's seat. He was a guy on a mission today, hellbent on making his rounds to see three people in particular.

The parking lot was packed with cars and people ambling about, hurrying back to the front of the school. Eli was glad he had been able to get a ticket to the event, though even if he had difficulties, he was willing to crash. All schemes aside, he earned his place among the crowd fair and square. It felt strange to be on this side of things. Only the year before was he dressed in his royal blue graduation gown. Back then it felt as if he had the world in the palm of his hands. Everything that was wrecked had managed to work itself out and he was right on the precipice of the next chapter in his life.

It'd all been so perfect and simple that day. But as Eli quickly learned, one year could truly change everything.

He tried not to dwell on the negatives just then— after all the day was meant for celebration and joy. He didn't want anything to weigh too heavily in his thoughts, instead choosing to focus on the good of the situation now. He successfully completed his first year of university and was now here in time to see loved ones reach their own personal finish line.

Eli took a seat somewhere in the middle of the audience on the left side of the stage. The first few rows were empty, just awaiting the graduates to fill them once they marched out. He set the flowers he'd brought along at his feet, accepting the graduation program that was handed to him.

Flipping through the pages to pass the time until the ceremony began, his eyes skimmed through the list of names. He felt a slight twinge in his chest as he reached the surnames beginning with "E". At once one name leapt from the page. Eli cleared his throat and closed the program back.

All around him family and friends of the respective graduates chatted excitedly amongst themselves. Eli didn't mind being alone for this. In truth he didn't have any intentions of staying for long afterwards. He was simply here to see his friends walk across the stage. For one of the three, he wasn't so sure his presence would even be welcomed or desired but this was something Eli had envisioned for years.

It wasn't quite the way he saw it, not by a longshot but all the same, he was adamant about attending today. The thought of being there for Imogen, Becky, and of course Clare herself was what motivated Eli to get an early jump on things.

He'd been back home in Toronto for two weeks though school had ended a month ago. He had fallen in love with New York City and his friends J.J and Lenore had coerced him (albeit without much effort required) to delay his trip back to his native Canada. Already he found himself missing the hustle and bustle of the city he called home temporarily but it was no match for being back in familiar settings.

Before long he would be reunited with the Big Apple but not before making the most of his summer vacation catching up with Imogen. He could only imagine the crazy antics she would get into now that she made it through her second go around of grade twelve. Given all that she had been through with her father's condition, Eli had to give her all the credit in the world for keeping her spirits up.

He thought now of Becky and Adam, his heart sinking as he mulled it over. Despite his better efforts to keep the tone of the day light in his mind, it was impossible not to address this matter. He would have given anything in the world to see his best friend march across the stage just like everyone else and receive his high school diploma but his life was cut short. It was unfair but he tried to imagine Adam getting on his case for becoming downtrodden. Eli had never bought into the idea of an afterlife but if ever such a thing existed, he wanted for Adam to be happy.

Eli had never been too close with Becky. Admittedly he spent a great deal of time resenting her in the start. They got off on the wrong foot and Eli, stubborn as ever, hadn't backed down in challenging her and pushing her buttons. Since she turned over a new leaf and became more accepting, Eli's opinion on her had changed. It did a one-eighty when he saw just how happy she made his best friend.

It had always been a struggle for Adam to find a sense of ease and to find a girl who could love him for who he truly was. It took a few tries but eventually he found something concrete in Becky and for that, Eli would always be appreciative. While their time together had been short, he was grateful that Adam knew what that feeling was like.

The full gravity of Adam's missing presence was almost overwhelming. Eli closed his eyes to it for a moment before looking around.

A few rows away on the opposite side from where he sat, he could see Audra Torres sitting beside her husband. It didn't exactly help him in his pursuit to switch trains of thought but he could only imagine what ran through her mind now. Undoubtedly she must have foreseen watching her two boys graduate together.

For as much as a rift had been driven between Eli and the older Torres brother, he truly felt terrible for him. Adam had always been like the brother he never had but for Drew, they were legitimately bonded in that respect.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he looked away, spotting the Bakers poring over their program and talking to each other.

Yet again Eli was reminded of the fact that this was another family whose plan for their children had gone array. Missing from the graduates' list was another Baker, one whose actions landed him in legal trouble. Eli didn't feel a bit of sympathy for him but he couldn't help wonder how deeply it shattered the Baker household.

Returning to Degrassi now was like being a fly on the wall. He could see things from a different perspective than everyone else. He knew enough about them all to form opinions but stayed mum, allowing the musings to remain confined to just him alone.

He fished his phone out of his pocket, noting the time before putting it on silent. It hardly mattered much seeing as though his parents knew where he was and his friends in New York were more than likely still snoozing away. The likelihood of getting a phone call in the middle of event wasn't too high.

The ceremony was set to start in just ten minutes.

Looking to the stage now, Eli rattled off the names of the teachers present to himself, if only for something to do to keep him busy. Simpson sat in the center of it all, blocked mostly by the podium but due to his tall build, he was still visible.

Eli was anxious for things to start and mercifully the last few minutes passed by quickly.

Simpson took to the podium and addressed the audience, giving a speech to kick things off. Eli listened attentively and peered over the mass sea of blue figures lined up. The graduation march began to play and the crowd rose to their feet and applauded them. Eli joined in as well, automatically checking the faces of each person that came into few. He spotted Alli with a golden sash who sat in the front, compliments of being among the shorter students.

It became tougher after that to see much of anyone else though he did catch a glimpse of Becky when she arrived closer to the rear of the line. The audience was of the same mind as him, bobbing and weaving to snap a shot of the student they were there to see. Giving up, Eli took his seat again, just as Simpson spoke up once more and greeted the graduates.

The rest of the ceremony passed just like any other with speeches from faculty members. Eli tugged on the collar of his dress shirt, undoing a button.

Finally the best part began as Simpson stood before them again. Eli perked up in his seat as Simpson began calling names alphabetically. As Becky was announced, Eli applauded loudly. He was there on Adam's behalf and once again he found himself wishing that his best friend was actually there.

Soon Alli was called next, later followed by Mike Dallas and Connor. Eli braced himself for the new round of names. Clare was the first one called for "E" and instantly Eli felt his heart thud erratically in his chest. He clapped along with everyone else, unable to tear his eyes off of her as she crossed the stage. Her hair had grown a bit longer since the last time he saw her which was a few months ago.

She beamed at Simpson as he moved her tassel from right to left. Eli felt an intense surge of pride. He kept his eyes on her as she accepted her diploma and walked off stage to return to her seat. Her eyes skimmed the crowd briefly and for a fleeting moment Eli hoped they would land on him. Instead she spotted someone else and, with his attention solely on her, Eli followed her gaze to where her family sat. Eli couldn't believe he missed Jake, Helen, and Glen who all smiled back at her and cheered. Jake was by far the loudest in the bunch. Curious, Eli began to look around for Randall but either he missed him or Clare's father simply wasn't there at all.

Eli returned his focus back to the main stage, applauding for Jenna. But once Imogen's name was called, Eli could only laugh at how excited she was. She practically jumped out of her seat and skipped her way to the stage, earning hearty chuckles from the crowd.

Soon after Simpson's list dwindled and after the last student made their trip across the stage, he switched gears and began handing out individual awards.

"And the winner of this year's English award is…Clare Edwards," he called.

It wasn't a surprise in the slightest to Eli or anyone, he was sure. After all, he still maintained that Clare was the absolute brightest. He had always been impressed by the fact that she took an advanced course with him when she was a year below him. To this day he hadn't met a single person that could edit better than her. It brought back fond memories of reading each other's essays in Ms. Dawes' class—centered titles and all.

Eli smiled softly to himself as Clare took to the stage again, blushing a bit due to her accolade. It was well deserved but true to form, Clare was modest when it came to her writing—even though it was undeniably one of her greatest gifts.

Simpson awarded a few more students for their respective categories before turning the floor over to Alli, this year's valedictorian. Again it wasn't a shock to Eli to see. Checking the program he noted that Connor was the salutatorian, a wise choice given how bright he was.

Alli's speech was strong and Eli could easily picture her and Clare going over it together. His attention drifted from Alli on stage to Clare in the audience who peered up proudly at her best friend.

After Alli spoke, Simpson gave a brief closing meeting, calling an end to the ceremony and congratulating the graduates. Blue caps rained down from the sky as students tossed them in the air, a resounding chorus of cheers echoing all around. The band started playing again and the crowd got to their feet, all clamoring to their children.

Eli collected his flowers, ready to begin searching the throng of people for Imogen.

It didn't take long to find her at all, just on the outskirts of the large crowd. Her back was to Eli but he could see she was speaking excitedly, her hands moving about as she spoke.

He tapped her on the shoulder and at once the large smile she had on her face somehow grew even wider.

"Eli!" she shouted, wrapping her arms around him. "Holy cannoli! Do you moonlight as a florist? Are you selling flowers today?" she asked as she pulled away, taking notice of the bouquets he had.

"No, I'm not but I'd make a killing here if I did," he joked. "These are for you," he continued, handing her a mixed bouquet.

A girl like Imogen couldn't be associated with just one type of flower as he'd managed to narrow down for Clare and Becky. It seemed like he hit the nail on the head with his selection for Imogen.

"They're so pretty. You didn't have to do that but it's so sweet; thank you," she said, giving him another hug. "So, who are the other two lucky winners of Eli Goldsworthy's affection?"

"Well, I need to find Becky and the other one…," he trailed off, looking down at the white orchids.

"Ah, how silly of me to even bother asking."

Her tone was light, letting Eli know that she didn't think him ridiculous for the gesture despite everything that happened. Imogen knew all too well about the highs and lows of his relationship with Clare, and more recently how it came to an end this time.

"Ooh, I see Becky," she chirped. "Beckster, over here!"

Eli turned to see Becky, long golden locks glistening in the sun. She was standing with her parents and a teacher but as she heard Imogen call her over, she pardoned herself and bounded over to them.

"Eli, oh my goodness. I didn't think you'd be here," she said. "But it's so nice to see you."

"I had to see you guys off. Some congratulations are in order, for both of you," he tacked on, looking between both girls. "I'm proud of you guys. Congrats on making it."

He presented Becky with her bouquet of sunflowers. They were the first thing that came to mind floral wise when he thought of her. Hailing from the Sunshine State, it was only fitting.

She seemed to think so too and she giggled and put the bouquet to her nose, inhaling the scent.

"Thank you so much, Eli," she said softly, giving him a warm hug.

There was a bit of sadness to her but Eli didn't press it, knowing most likely where her thoughts were now.

"I should get back to my folks but again, thank you for these, Eli. And Immy, I'll see you later," she added.

With a final wave to them both, she moved off again in the direction to which she came. Imogen nudged her shoulder against Eli's, her mouth twisted to one side.

"What's up?" he asked, confused by her expression.

"Don't you have one more stop to make, señor?" she asked.

Eli gripped the final bouquet a bit tighter in his hand. Suddenly he felt nervous of the plan he was once so sure of. The last he heard from Clare was in a voicemail asking him to give her more space to herself and now he was popping up at her graduation unannounced. He made himself scarce enough, keeping his distance. He didn't even have any intentions of hanging around her after he got a chance to see her. By all accounts it was harmless and yet he couldn't help but to feel that he was overstepping once again.

"I spy with my little eye a girl you need to speak to," Imogen sing-songed, swaying along to her little tune.

Eli followed her line of vision and sure enough he saw Clare a few feet away, standing close to the curb with Alli. It was the exact same spot he met her actually and the sense of coming full circle was slightly disorienting.

"Good luck," Imogen called after him as he began walking over to Clare.

If he didn't move now he'd lose his nerve and do away with his plan entirely. All he could do now was hope that this encounter would go smoothly, that he wouldn't wind up doing more harm than good by reaching out to Clare when she wasn't ready.

Alli spotted Eli before Clare did, her expression surprisingly welcoming. He smiled hesitantly at her, a gesture to which she returned. It caught Clare's attention, who then looked to see who Alli was focused on.

Eli tensed up under Clare's watchful eye. It was hard to know what she was thinking but Eli was relieved by the fact that she didn't look angry by him being there.

Alli said something to Clare, undoubtedly a farewell of some kind as she slinked away, leaving the two to themselves.

As Eli reached Clare, he could feel his hands trembling. Stuffing his free hand into his pocket, he opened his mouth to speak, unsure of how to even begin.

"I know you said you needed more time and I'm sorry for breaking that wish. I just…this was how it was supposed to be, you know? With me in the crowd cheering for you, here congratulating you and tell you how damn proud I am. Things have changed but that part's still true. I couldn't miss this. Not for the world," he blurted out, chiding himself mentally for how sloppy his words were.

He just felt the need to get it all out in the open, for her to understand that there wasn't anything malicious about his appearance but rather the opposite.

"I'm glad you came," she whispered, her eyes starting to swell with tears though she didn't shed any.

Eli searched her eyes intently before he spoke, so sure he might've heard her wrong.

"You are? I mean, god. All my eloquence is just falling by the wayside," he laughed, completely beside himself.

"Of course I am. I was actually hoping you'd show up. You have quite the knack for doing that," she mused, laughing nervously.

"I suppose it's a little talent of mine," he chuckled as well. "Um, I hope this isn't weird but I got you these."

He held up the arrangement of pristine white orchids to her, watching for her reaction. They were her favorites, a fact Eli would never forget and was certain to implement. She accepted them, her hand just as shaky as Eli's had been the whole time.

"Orchids," she said softly, peering down at them and sighing softly.

Eli rubbed at the back of his neck for something to do as she continued to look at the flowers.

"I'm sure you have a lot of people you need to see so I don't want to hold you up any further." Nodding once, Eli took a step back, stopping once he felt Clare holding his arm to keep him in place.

He looked back at her and stood up straighter, her hand finally dropping once he remained.

"I would have spoken to you sooner. I probably should have but I just needed some time for myself."

"It's okay, Clare. You don't have to explain yourself to me, I understand. I'm so sorry for everything. I let you down too many times. I don't blame you for breaking up with me. You might've been better off had you done it sooner," he said honestly.

In the time away from each other, Eli thought tirelessly about his relationship with Clare. In the end it always amounted to the same: the fact that he didn't think he truly deserved someone like her. But even still, he loved her so fiercely that he couldn't stop himself from falling harder each day.

"That's not it. It's part of the reason, yes, but…I don't want to get into all of it right now but this year has been a disaster overall. Outside of us and everything that happened, it's been really tough. I'm actually not even sad about leaving Degrassi. I want a fresh start in New York."

"I can't say it enough, I'm sorry. I was hoping you were doing well this whole time," Eli remarked, truly feeling upset with hearing that things had gotten off course. It took a moment before her last sentence struck him. "…New York? You're going to Columbia?"

Clare nodded enthusiastically, a wide smile on her face. Unable to stop himself or really process what he was doing, he hugged Clare tightly to him.

"That's terrific, Edwards. I knew it. I knew you'd get in," he marveled, still not letting go.

He could feel Clare's arms embracing him as well, her face buried against the crook of his neck. She was relaxed in his arms and even as it hit Eli that this was the first time in months that they had physical contact, he kept his hold on her. Clare sighed softly, her breath tickling his skin in such a comforting way. He rubbed her back soothingly as he breathed her in, re-familiarizing himself with her scent. His memory hadn't done it justice in the slightest.

After another moment or two, Clare began to pull away and Eli followed her lead. Now that they were brought back to reality again, they both grew silent and bashfully looked away from each other.

"I'm—,"

"Don't apologize for that. Please don't," Clare urged, already knowing what he was going to say.

Eli was still in a state of disbelief that he could only nod and smile, his mind far too muddled to think of anything.

"We have a lot of catching up to do. I want you to fill me in about how the rest of your year went," she said optimistically.

"Well, I'm here for most of the summer and then we'll be in New York together. We've got plenty of time for all of that."

"I can't wait. I've really missed you, Eli."

Eli had to hold himself back from ranting about how much he missed her, how a single day hadn't gone by that she didn't cross his mind. Instead he went with the shortened version—

"I missed you too. More than I can even say."

"Clare! Everyone's waiting to take pictures," Alli called out, looking unsure as to whether her timing was bad or not.

Clare groaned and held up her index finger to Alli who waited patiently. She then turned back to look at him, sighing softly before smiling, almost slyly in Eli's opinion.

"I'll, uh, see you around," she said, biting back a smile with a knowing glance.

It hadn't escaped her notice either where they were standing, the importance of this one slab of concrete that other people wouldn't think twice about. It was the beginning of everything and as the two of them were now working towards a new chapter of their story, it felt right to pay homage to their shared past.

"Guess you will," Eli replied smoothly, not missing his cue.

He watched her go head back over to Alli who linked arms with her and began talking instantly. Clare glanced over her shoulder and smiled at him. He held up a hand and waved once, drawing in a collected breath.

There was still so much road to travel between them but now the distance keeping them apart no longer seemed so insurmountable.


End file.
